Opinion

Why men are scared to marry highly educated women

By Joseph Akim Gordon

Young men and women when they reach the age of maturity and to make a choice for suitable man and woman for marriage, usually making a choice for a partner requires a detailed knowledge in terms of social life , family background and the collection of this information takes time. Because in many cases each person will keep secretly the negative behavior and social life so that it will not be a factor to prevent relationship, women who had married before with a child in previous marriage will keep it  a top secret  not to jeopardize the new relationship.

In general, education and training for both man and woman is advantageous in that both will contribute in building the new family, but majority of men are scared to marry highly qualified women. In many cases men claim that highly qualified women are big headed and undermine the husband because of her high qualification and with lucrative job, although the wife contributes more to the family welfare as such she has no respect for the husband.

Since our society is patriarchal as far as religion and most culture put the man has the head of the family to be supported by a woman, in this regard a man is supposed to provide the family with all the necessity of life but in a situation that man is not able to support the family adequately, as result when a woman steps in in the provision of the basic services for the family, so her ability to contribute more than a man then there appears rivalry between the two. Once there is competition of family leadership this will mark the beginning of the end of marriage. Prior to the marriage the woman must know her position in the marriage as man is the head of the family, this should not create inferiority complex because although a woman was created from man flesh to assist the man, this should not be an excuse for man to mistreat a woman 

In a situation when a wife gets a senior position in a political office or parastatal organization vested with authority in all decision making, in this situation such wives should not transfer the work place authority to the family definitely the husband will not entertain such authority in the family.

For smooth family relationship there must be mutual understanding and respects, both sides must create an atmosphere where there is stability in the house and love in the family should not be based on material wealth but loving relationship will cement the marriage which is beneficial to the children and the whole family, if love in the family is based on material wealth it will not last for long.

Husband and wife have full responsibility to create a good atmosphere where they will bring decent children that will grow to become responsible people in our society. A highly educated or highly qualified wife should be a blessing to the family and the community, all the wealth brought by both husband and wife should not create tension in marriage.  A wife with high qualifications and well paid job and well placed in political office should not abuse this gift from God to use this talent and wealth for the family and to extend this blessing to the needy. Both husband and wife should know that they have responsibility to bring up a decent family.

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