In such a busy world, the importance of speaking the truth has never been more meaningful.

As human beings, we are so bombarded by gossip, loud noise and messages about how we should be living our lives, it’s no wonder many of us become overwhelmed and get confused about what we really want to say to each other.

I was never a very good communicator when I was younger. I was a shy child and I remember feeling things more deeply than I remember being confident about what I was trying to articulate. I was much better at being expressive through music, dance or letting films transport me to another world. But talking? Saying what I really thought? That was never something that came easily for me. I would prefer to sit on the side-lines for fear of offending someone or looking stupid, but for the most part, I just didn’t think my opinion was valid.

Once I began to bring my awareness to the concept of speaking the truth to those around me, at first it was terrifying. Telling people what I really thought? Was that even allowed?

Something I’ve learnt is that there is no room for fear to be present when we are speaking the truth, whether we are speaking in public to a large group or to someone we love, because if we are fully present, giving and breathing deeply, our fear will melt away. If we’re still feeling nervous, anxious or afraid, it means we are still letting our heads do the talking, and more often than not, that voice is saying “I wonder what everyone is thinking of me right now, I wonder how they think I’m doing.”

I dealt with a lot of anger I didn’t know I had a few years ago and because I’m a passionate person but was feeling insecure. My tendency was to lash out and become very defensive whenever something didn’t work out, especially with those close to me. But a huge thing I’ve learnt is that we are a mirror to those around us and how we behave and react will be reflected straight back to us. So as we become more mindful of our actions and speaking in a kind way, people we love will too, and our relationships will improve.

When we hold back from saying what we really want to say to another person, we let them take our energy and the relationship can begin to feel heavy and resentful. Expressing how you feel in an assertive and kind way is essential, and that person will respect you more for doing so.

When you go to speak, whether in reply to someone who is testing your patience or simply just to a friend who probably needs your help, take a moment to connect with your heart so your thoughts and words come from a more caring place.

We don’t have to perform in life, we just need to be ourselves, and speaking from the heart has power, so much so that I now believe it to be our most valuable and useful life tool.

I found learning to speak from my heart a difficult art to master, because there’s no doubt in this world that the truth can be scary and not everyone always wants to hear it, especially when it involves a painful conversation.  However, when the alternative is to endure a situation you’re not happy with; speak from a place of fear, or lie, all of which will leave you mentally and emotionally exhausted, speaking from your place of truth suddenly seems a brighter option doesn’t it?

Your dreams, your heart’s desires, the truth of what you really want in life and everything you are holding back from expressing to those around you, all needs to be realised. If it isn’t, your heart is going to break from regret and from the heaviness that comes from not speaking your truth, and that is a pain that none of us should have to bear. So I invite you to play with the practice of speaking the truth and notice how freeing it feels to communicate in an honest way. Notice how much less you dwell on situations because you know you’ve said what you needed to say. Learning to speak the truth in the present means regret won’t get a chance to be part of your future.

By Nana Alfred

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