Editorial

TEN GREAT RULES THAT WILL HELP YOU TO REMAIN POOR ALL YOUR LIFE IF YOU WISH TO.

We were debating on how one could be able to be rich and have everything he needs without much ado. Some of us resort to prayers while others work very hard day and night to make ends meet. We were discussing this under our normal set up when our common friend who had been away claiming to have eaten something which turned out to be baptized “food poisoning”. We did not want to argue with him as he told us he had something very important to share with us. SaPT claimed he had just talked to one Bobby in Zimbabwe. (Robert Mugabe). And that the man had coined some very interesting points. Robert is known to be holding a number of academic and honorary degrees. To SaPT, it was not how to get rich but how to remain poor all your life if you wish to and these are the points he borrowed from Bob which we would like to share with our readers.

 

  1. Never wake up early: Keep stretching and turning in bed until you get too hungry to continue dozing. If there are no bedbugs, why hurry to get up?
  2. Never plan how to spend your money: Whenever you get money, start spending it right away and when it is finished, try to count and recall how you spent it.
  3. Don’t think of saving until you have real big money: How can you save when you earn so little? Those telling you to save are not sympathetic to your burning needs.
  4. Don’t engage in activities usually reserved for the uneducated’: How can you, a graduate, engage in petty trade or home- based production? That is for people who never went to school.
  5. Don’t think of starting a business until an angel comes from heaven and gives you capital: How do they expect you to invest before you get millions of shillings or pounds? Even though more than half the businesses in your town were started with a few hundred shillings or pounds, you as a smart person can only start with millions.
  6. Complain about everything except your own attitude: Blame the system, the government and the banks that refuse to lend you money. They are all bad and do not want you to get rich.
  7. Spend more than you earn: To achieve this, buy consumer products on credit and keep borrowing from friends, relatives and employers or whoever is willing to lend.
  8. Compete in dressing: Make sure you wear the latest clothes among all the workers in your office. Whenever your neighbor buys a new phone, get one that is more expensive.
  9. Get yourself a nice second- hand car that costs more than three times your gross monthly pay: That will surely keep you in debt long enough to hinder the implementation of any bad plans that could make you accumulate capital.
  10. Give your children everything they ask for since you are such a loving parent: They should not struggle for anything because you do not want them to suffer. That way, they will grow up lazy and hence poor enough to ensure they cannot help you in your old age.

**Good day**

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