Suffering and killings

By Ngor Khot Garang

Man has always been an enemy to himself for centuries and nature now is adding something heavier than ever expected.  It has never once crossed anyone’s mind that a virus more deadly than the barrel of a gun that has taken the lives of innocent people would come to existence.  We not only as humans but African have lost great number of our people to gun. This was done by a man to steal public funds when no one was watching.

If there is a widow who struggles from morning to dusk to put food on the table and get school fees for her children, that woman was widowed by gun.  If there is an orphan who is wandering on the street, his parents were killed by the gun.

If there is anyone who is homeless, their home was destroyed by gun. If there are children who are still attending classes under the shade of a tree, their school was demolished by the gun.

Guns have taken the lives of the people we love so dearly, stripped us of our hope and aborted most of our future dreams and aspirations. But that did not stop us from dreaming even more because as long as we are still living, there is hope that thing will improve but how and for how long? That is a bitter question we tend to ask ourselves.

We have witnessed the most horrible tragedies of our time. We have seen our houses burnt to ashes; we have seen people dying in front of us.  We have watched our loved ones dying due to treatable diseases and poverty can’t get its evil eyes off from us. We have passed through darkest nights and came out even stronger than before.

Nothing has ever shaken our resort. And I don’t think if we are still going to make it through again. Why can’t God help a black man?  That is the question I ask when I go to bed every night. The story of African only leaves someone like me with tears to wipe.  What have we done to deserve all these?

From our ancestors, things have never been easy and they wished it would be good with us and now we wish the same thing for our children and our children would wish for their children too.  It is a discriminative world and I cry even more.

Why can’t God stop all these suffering and give us a break? We are tired and heartbroken. It is an elusive ride. Where is the destiny and the peace you have always promised to give us when we are in need of it?

In every challenging situation, there is always an end that is always believed to be beautiful and peaceful? We have asked you and waited patiently and it seems you are busy somewhere?

 We want to rest. We want to be happy. We want back our lost hope and peace. Our world is crying and I don’t know why it will take our lives for the cries to reach God’s dwelling place? We have always given ourselves hope that our situation as African or South Sudanese will change and that our star regardless of how dim it is will shine again though it has never once shone but when is it going to shine?

When are we going to settle down and plan the future of our children together? When are we going to dry our tears? This is too much and our hearts weeps for the crying world.

As the world struggles against Corona virus (COVID-19) our hearts and minds are directed to the children who have lost their way to school. Our hearts also mourns for the businesses that were too weak to stand the wrath of the pandemic and politics that came with it. And single mothers who were working really hard for their children, it is unbearable.

The future now hangs in the balance and this drain our blood faster than the fear of corona virus itself. If the children are not going to attend normally school as they used to do before and people not going for work due to economic gap created by the virus, what else should we expect from this wicked world? What do we expect from a world that is starring at us without answers?

What do we expect from the world ravaged by the inventions of men? It was atomic bombs, land mines, and machines guns and we stood them all. Who can still say we are not strong? Now the corona virus want us to believe that we need to get used to it. Sad!   

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