Divorce disgraces a blessed family

By Bona Mariak Garial

Why have you decided to marry? Some men, if asked this question would say because they fell in love or it was fine. Others would however say because they are lonely.

Indeed, it is important to love or to be loved in a society where you socialize.

I had been living with several ladies over a period of four years yet I still felt lonely. When I met my wife, we had so much in common which I didn’t have with other partners because I had decided to spend my life with her.

I used to hang out with my buddies a lot and I wasn’t as happy as I thought I should be. I often get bored, but when I met my wife, life became more exciting and vibrant.

An interesting point of view is that once men get married, they sometimes divorce and again remarry. Half of all the divorced men may remarry within three years.

So, once a man experiences the feelings of intimacy and the knowledge that someone does not only love him but wants to take care of him physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually; those feelings of being loved would become hard to resist and almost impossible to live without. It will become like the food that we eat and the water that we drink daily.

Men and women instinctively want to be stress free and have fun as often as possible, and in a good relationship. Being loved brings hugs, kisses and fun.

Some men say they are afraid of marrying, so they choose to live with different women, and it appears they are very happy with this non-committed arrangement.

When love hits a man, he would want his spouse commitment. He would want to make sure that she is his woman, and that’s what marriage does. Marriage has two commitments. And you let the whole world know this is my man” and this is my woman.” All insurance companies know that heath of a married man is much better than when such a person was a single buddy, which is the truth.

Marriage brings friendship, a relaxed atmosphere, normal eating patterns and hours, and being needed by someone you love makes you healthier in life. My father once said a man who is not needed by someone doesn’t belong and live like a leaf blown in the wind.

I am wondering how many are in happy marriage life. There are many cases of divorce, and if the men were really happy in their marriage, they would do anything to keep those marriages. Indeed most of the divorce cases are precipitated by the wives, but even if its 50 by 50, wives and husbands, half the husbands are dissatisfied seek for other women outside their marriages eventually resulting to divorce.

There must be a reason why so many men who were obviously in love with their wives cheat. Such practices have broken many marriages. Cheating sexually is not good for a health marriage life.

According to the Bible, marriage was designed for companionship and intimacy. The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’…and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.

Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:18, 21-24, NIV)

That means marriage is God’s gift to both men and women. Whoever abuses it may invite curse for her or himself.

In a successful marriage, there is no cheating and divorce. There is only mutual understanding regardless of human difficulties.

The author is a student of Juba University, School of Community Studies and Rural Development, Department of Development Communication. Contact: 0912128003 or 0916830148

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