Children future is in Parent’s hands
By Akol Arop Akol
In countries with continuous fighting and crisis, many parents have neglected the responsibility and left the children wandering in daily life. Young ones are supposed to be parentally nourished, well fed and educated at home and in school but their mothers, fathers, relatives and guardians left them to suffer in life.
Instead of giving them food, clothing, shelter, medication and education, the parents only mistreat them with constant punishment like physical torture, insults and heavy labor which force children to move away from their homes and scatter on street hoping that is better freedom.
How does a mother feel when seeing her child out of the house? Why should people even produce if they know very well they are not capable of bringing up a child? Why don’t they first make family planning and measure the resources they have before multiplying the world with children who end up on street as if they are foreigners born to suffer in the world?
One thing parents must know is that giving birth or producing makes you a father or mother but it is only the responsibility to raise children with care and love that qualifies you. Who will buy for them sweets, clothes, food, toys if not you who begotten them?
Sometimes parent may think doing everything possible is the best way of making their children happy. But that is totally a mess up. If children are given too much materials and freedom, they may get spoiled because they always think of pleasure and leisure. They may use the money for buying alcohol, drugs and ugly torn clothes. Try to imagine and ask yourself why they prefer that life.
Sometimes it’s just easier to clean up your children’s confusions rather than instructing them how to do it for themselves because they are learners who follow what they hear and see from you.
Spoiled kids can be master manipulators. They use words to induce guilt and to control their parents. As soon as this begins to happen, make sure you put your foot down. You have to let your child know what role you both play. As parents, you must take charge.
When even playing, let there be an age-gap for respect between you and the child. If you keep telling everything, the child would also learn and spread out bad manners. Insulting words or gossips should not be said when children are hearing the conversation or otherwise they will copy from you and do the same to colleagues or strangers.
Limits are absolutely necessary for everyone. Your child may not like them, but they are importantly effective for responsible growth. Parents must work as a team to draw restrictions for their children. These limits should include what they wear, the videos they watch, the games they play, the places they visit, the friends they walk with, the occasions they attend, the food they eat, the teamwork they do, the music they listen to and the environment where they live. Parents must make sure they take major accountability to look after their children very carefully and also enforce the limits to guide them.
When your child asks to join any activity or sport, make sure you know their motive. If you don’t like that program, also see if it is beneficial to the child. Perhaps there is a good reason for the decision and if allowed the child will be happy throughout.
As your children grow up, they should become increasingly self-sufficient. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way, especially if they’re used to you doing everything for them. Little by little, start to reinforce your child’s independence by limiting the things you do for them. Teach them how to do those things and increase their responsibilities around the home. If they don’t want to comply, limit the time they spend on the computer or watching TV or walking out to walk out to prevent them from associating with wrong groups.