Opinion

Be cautious while disciplining young ladies

By: Agar Mayor Gai

It is right to discipline a young lady if she disobeys or steps over the positive advices of their parents. But though, how should the moral discipline be rightly administered by the parents? In our country since last year, there are two reported cases of parents who have killed their daughters in trying to make the young girls accept un-willed marriage. In our culture though, parents have a mandate to approve of their daughter’s hand in marriage with the one she brings as her to be spouse. This happens widely across this country or beyond. In every language or people of this country, both side parents must always approve the nuptial and the legal togetherness of the two young people. However, any parent from both sides if there be pretty much un-satisfactions in the other family, is by all ways allowed to either break apart the expected togetherness or lay down certain conditions such that if the other side fulfills them, the approval takes its strongest position; the approval does happen and the two become legally one body as the Bible says.

This kind of marriage where the two side parents would come to discuss and later second the unity in marriage is biblical but to some much extent, as for this modern era, it seems to be a violation of girl’s right to choose for herself a husband. This sounds reasonable because family is a two-peopled institution where the founders will have to spend their most times together. Their togetherness though, calls for understanding between the two. It is in this way, where the family lasts longer and the kids are also brought up in a way that portrays the understanding and love between their parents.

However, most African parents question the choices that ladies make. They believe that what ladies see in people lasts not any longer; physical beauty, deceptive talks and others are in their view, the center of any lady’s mind. This thought makes them feel that since young girls do not see the future, disciplining and directing them becomes the duty of parents. Parents feel it right to choose for their daughters the right future through the right spouses; the one whose beauty lies inside rather than the physical one, the one whose words are not twisted; their says are unswerving in a way that today’s promises are the tomorrow’s, the one in whose wholly hands, the care and protection of the girl will forever lie, the one whose matrimony will not create enmity between families of both the spouses, the one who is in position to pay for the bride price because it is biblical and ethical that as a groom, you must give to show that your family will in no other way lack something to eat, put on and a shelter to sleep in.

This means that lacking the bridal price is an indication that you are not working and thus likely to face more family challenges now or later. These challenges though, may lead to sin because one would not let his wife and kids to sleep with an empty stomach when sure that with his physical power, he can rob, kill or steal one’s property. This is why the bible and some cultures say that, work to pay for the bride price and to later cater for your family needs.  Why don’t we all do this? Why do some deceive girls and later dumb them without shelter, food to eat and even mistreat such that their parents will though, intervene to cater for these?  It is so unfortunate but the bible and culture have tried their best only that we do not heed to the biblical advices (love, work for, get approval from the parents and later take care of the family).   However, if there is love and leaving the above others out, it is never godly because the other missing factors will later lead to sin. It is advisable that love exists and that willingness to form a family based on love must get approval from the parents (the ones next to God). I, though appeal to the parents that if not put in to picture by your son, daughter or sister, disciplining and directing her to the right path is the best. The discipline however, should not be of shooting, stabbing or strangling as most parents do in this country. The cases of 2019 in the greater Lakes states must never be tolerated and repeated. If the state governments have failed to look in to this great loss of lives especially for young girls, let the national government and other partners join hands to rescue the lives of young girls through sensitizing parents about how discipline ought to be administered. The parents should coerce but must always be cautious while disciplining the young girls.

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