Opinion

Either you are in 100%, or out 100%.

 By Odeh

hezodehh@gmail.com

“I am not too sure whether we are still a couple. He hasn’t spoken to me or our child for a month but I see him posting photos especially with one of our female friends” she wondered.

There are people who get out of a relationship/marriage without announcing that they are out. Some grown-ups don’t have the guts to break up and one needs to read the signs. Below are some of the ways cowards use to break up.

  1. “The cowardly text”
    This is when someone breaks up with you via text or inbox message and has no guts to face you
  2. “The silent treatment”
    This is when you suddenly just go silent, you don’t engage your partner. To kill a relationship, just cut off communication, don’t say anything.
  3. “The disappearing act”
    This is when you run away and completely separate yourself from the person you’ve been loving. You give that person a shock by vanishing.
  4. “The fault finding’
    This is when you already know you want to break up but you deliberately start looking for faults on your partner so that you break up and put the blame on him/her
  5. “The operation boredom”
    This is when your cunning self-works hard to be boring. You reply messages to your partner with one word texts, you show contempt, pour water on all your partner’s attempts, make life difficult for your partner so that he/she gets bored and wants a break up too
  6. “The unfaithfulness way”
    This is when you are still officially a couple, you hold the title of your partner’s man/woman but in your heart you have already broken up. So you cheat on your partner and have affairs feeling no guilt since according to your heart you and your partner are over and done with
  7. “The send a messenger way”
    This is when you send someone to tell your partner things are over. You send a friend, a family member to do the heartbreaking task you lack guts to do
  8. “The fifty-fifty way”
    This is when you break up but not fully, you want a window for you to come back when convenient for you. You get jealous when the partner you’ve broken up with moves on and you still have the audacity to lay claim on the partner you personally turned into an ex
  9. “The cooked up lie way”
    This is when you lie to your partner of something heavy like you have a fatal illness, you are evil, you have been cheating or you have a new lover; you tell the lie to make your partner angry and fed up with you resulting to a break up
  10. “The bombshell way”
    This is when you are not lying, you truly have someone new you are loving while your partner thought you still love him/her. To add salt to injury, you parade that new lover before your old partner
  11. “The vulture way”
    This is when by your actions you treat your partner with contempt but you stay because you know your partner loves you too much to let you go no matter how much you take him/her for granted. You stay because you are using your partner for immediate needs and will fully break up when you no longer have use for your partner
  12. “The public humiliation way”
    This is when you break the news that you two are no longer a couple in public to embarrass your partner
  13. “The deny baby strategy”
    This is when a woman gets pregnant and the man responsible takes it as his cue to leave and abandon her
  14. “The non-disclosure way”
    This is when you do tell your partner you’ve broken up but you don’t say why. You leave your partner hanging
  15. “The reverse psychology way”
    This is when you lack the courage to break up and so you deliberately offend and unsettle your partner, do every wrong to make your partner break up with you

If you will break up with someone, make it clear, be grown up about it, explain why, give a respectful conclusion to a love you have been a part of. You owe that to the person who has given you years of their life. Break ups are a painful; but the one you are breaking up with can handle the truth, give that person a chance to fight for your love; and even if you have already made up your mind to break up, lay the hard truth why on the table, give the love a mature closure, the information you give might help you both become better people.

There are too many unfinished relationships and marriages hanging in the balance because people don’t know where they stand. You owe the person who has given you their years to love you an explanation why you are walking away. Have the guts to give it a clean and clear ending or the guts to work it out.

Either you are in 100%, or out 100%.

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